Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Randomize
