Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
did i just pee glitter
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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