i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
