my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
