its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
