VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
