just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
