please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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