doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It was confusing and full of hummus
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
