He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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