I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
