I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
