I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The uberlube is also flammable
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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