well you can't waste a boner
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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