We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
