So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
