found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he told me I talked like a deaf person
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
