one word: firstdatebathroomanal
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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