Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
