you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
