Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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