3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You are the jesus of drinking
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
