I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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