I accidentally had phone sex last night
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i think i have herpe
just one?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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