the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
