i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
