I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
