You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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