maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
