Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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