shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
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