The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
