STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
