"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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