Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
