I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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