thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
