I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
