"it" just moved
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
