The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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