Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
