her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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