Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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