Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
