At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
