i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
