At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
