he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
