There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
