in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
