awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
