is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
