I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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